I really wasn’t looking forward to the ceremony. I’d even go so far as to say I was dreading it.
I know, I know… it’s kind of the whole point. You pitch up, you say your ‘I dos’. That’s what makes it a wedding, no?
It’s just, I was so nervous. I worried about tripping over, about fluffing my lines or, worse, saying the wrong name entirely, a la Ross from Friends. I just wanted to speed through that part of the day and get on with the serious business of celebrating with our guests.
So, when I awoke from a fairly inadequate night of slumber that frosty Saturday morning, my bridal gaze was firmly locked on the post-ceremony cocktails and canapes. When I discussed my nerves with anyone that would listen I kept repeating the same phrase, as if saying it enough times would speed up the whole process. ‘I’ll be fine once the ceremony is out of the way’.
The thing is, all of a sudden you’re there, gazing into the eyes of your betrothed, and it hits you. The full weight of what you’re doing.
And it’s incredible.
Today I give myself to you.
I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you,
and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad,
when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.
I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard
These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.
We didn’t write our vows from scratch. We couldn’t. Much respect to people that do. It was just too great a task. Even I, a lover of words, couldn’t find the right ones.
Instead, in what can only be construed as a wholly unromantic act, they were lifted from a random website on the Internet. I tweaked them a little, but there’s no getting away from the fact they came from a Google search rather than our hearts.
It’s saying them out loud that makes them count though. Surely they don’t become vows until then? Until we put them out there into the universe, in the presence of our children, family and friends, they were just words on a page. Regardless of where they came from, they were spoken from the heart.
I needed a moment to compose myself before I could begin. As I dabbed at my tears with a tissue I joked that going second was much more difficult. It was. I wanted to do the words justice. I wanted Carl to feel the full force of them, as I had as he said them to me.
I think I spoke clearly. I know my voice faltered as I said the words ‘and when it is an effort’. I guess getting married after 8 years, and 2 children, gives me a little insight into what that line actually means. I remember concentrating on Carl’s face just as purposefully as I was the words. It felt so powerful, all that emotion, contained only by the look we were giving each other, the gaze we were sharing. It was as if you could reach out and touch it.
All of a sudden we were kissing, and, for a brief moment, it felt like it was just the two of us in the room.
I pulled away from Carl and laughed as I saw my red lipstick smeared across his lips. I wiped it away as our guests clapped and cheered.
Loveaudrey xxx
PS. A few details I couldn’t weave into the words above…
We had three readings. The first was A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton. I really do love shopping and my husband really can be distant and peculiar at times. This was followed by the lyrics from ‘Tonight Tonight’ by The Smashing Pumpkins. Our friend Gav Mac did an incredible job of speaking these words, I suspect the temptation to sing them was great. Finally, my Uncle read an extract from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres.
Photography copyright (c) 2012 Eliza Claire {have I mentioned she’s amazing?}
I love Tonight Tonight amazing song x Everytime I read your posts on your wedding tears come to my eyes such a beautiful story xx
I need waterproof mascara for your blog!
Blurry Heck. I won’t be able to look at you tomorrow I might burst into tears!
My sister had A lovely Love Story at her wedding so I feel a bit choked up remembering it and we had an extract from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. I don’t know anyone who had Tonight Tonight. What a cracking song. Beautiful xx
Oh dear, I shed a tear after reading those vows. I was imagining my own wedding later on this year, and I paused to get get a tissue and thought “oh no, if I go second how will I speak?” and then I read on and you answered my question. What a beautiful account xx
Just catching up on your blog – stunning stunning wedding, beautiful all the way x
This post had me in tears, what a wet blanket! Sounds like you had the perfect day, I’m glad everything went so well =]
Sarah xx
I remember repeating the same words before our ceremony at the church – in fact, it flew by very quickly, but unfortunately the sermon was utterly rubbish, which we all turned into a joke afterwards 🙂 Your vows are amazing!
Beautiful!! Congratulations xxx
Beautiful, you’ve got me all choked up..!! Simply exquisite..!! Xxx
Lovely post ! very nice to read !x
I cried when I heard you both say your vows. You’re right, 8 years and 2 children really do make you appreciate the sentiment and meaning of what a wedding really is-the promises, the trust and the hope for the future. And that feeling of wonder and awe that someone loves you that much only gets stronger wheat your marriage survives and grows through the years.
Wow you look absolutely gorgeous! I love your wedding dress and your whole look! Sounds like you had a lovely day and congratulations! XxxX http://thesecondhandrose.blogspot.com/
Oh my how moving… it all sounds so perfectly full of love – and you my dear, are beautiful!
Nic x
I’m going to remember this on my wedding day, just focus on Joe and it’ll all be ok.. 🙂