It never ceases to amaze me how irrational and out of control my mind can get at times. Due to some personal events that occurred this morning I’ve spent the majority of today feeling really, really rubbish. I know I’m not alone in my ability to occasionally allow my emotions to sink incredibly low and become consumed by feelings of self-hatred. It’s a decidedly female trait. Why do we do it to ourselves ladies? Why?

I can’t think of a single female friend of mine who doesn’t have at least a small list of body hang-ups or general insecurities. I myself have a fairly long-ish list. Most of the time these issues remain at the back of my mind and I do a great job of feeling happy about my appearance, exuding self-confidence fuelled by just the right amount of self-worth. Occasionally, the negative thoughts push themselves to the forefront of my mind and I can’t help but feel hideous.

It occurred to me today that many of the grooming activities I engage in play a huge part in warding off such negative feelings. I can genuinely say I do these things to please myself rather than anyone else as they have such a massive impact on my own state of mind. When I feel well-groomed I feel good about myself. At the same time, making an effort with my appearance helps to cement those all important feelings of self-worth (I can’t help but think of the cheeezzy line from the L’Oreal ads ‘because you’re worth it’!!).

Rightly or wrongly, make-up, clothes, perfume and everything else are like a crutch to me. I need them. Although my reaction to today’s events was to administer a good dose of retail therapy, it’s the using rather than the buying of these items that I rely on. My problem at the moment is that I just don’t have enough time to make myself feel as well groomed as I’d like/need. This week I’m going to set about putting this right and hopefully put my feelings back in the right order.

Loveaudrey xxx