No…. I wasn’t crying because I’ve been engaged for almost 2 weeks and I haven’t tried on a single wedding dress yet.
It’s just that every now and then it hits me that I’m doing all of this without my Dad. I see pictures on wedding blogs of brides walking down the aisle with their father and, well… it just isn’t fair, is it?
This is all so far removed from any experience I ever shared with my Dad that I’m even finding it hard to imagine what he’d say or how he’d react. Would he have welled up when we told him? Would he have bought a bottle of bubbly round? Would he have taken Mr. LA down the pub to talk man-to-man?
Cancer sucks. It really does.
One wedding detail we have decided on (despite the tears) is our favours. You can forget sugared almonds, I want to help make sure that other brides can have their Daddy by their side on their big day so we’ll be making a donation to Leukaemia and Lymphoma Research instead. 
Loveaudrey xxx
Oh Franky…all I can offer is my love and condolences, I can’t imagine how hard it must be 🙁 Your wedding favour idea is a fantastic way to honour your Dad, and you can bet that he will be smiling down on you and Carl xxx
I know that throughout my pregnancy I’ve found it very hard not being able to share it with friends and family that have passed, it’s a very hard thing to deal with.
Lots of love x x x
Oh god I welled up reading this. My Grampa died of cancer last year and it’s just heartbreaking, and like you I wonder what he’d think about things. It’s horrible knowing thy’re not going to share our days with us, but your favour idea is such a thoughful thing. Sending you lots of love sweetheart x x x
aw my poor love this is something that has crossed my mind too – it’s not just that the person was taken away its your whole future with them thats gone too x I think the donation idea isa lovely one xx
What a lovely idea. My friends did that at their wedding earlier this year too, and I thought it was a beautiful gesture. x
Aww, that is such a lovely, thoughtful idea 🙂 xx
This post brought a tear to my eye, I really feel for you xxx
Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss! I have no doubt that he’ll be smiling on your day from up above <3 What you're doing for favors is absolutely the most touching thing. God bless your sweet heart!
That’s a really lovely way to donate to charity in a personal way. You can also mention him in the speeches on your big day as a tribute (I’m sure you probably would anyway), which is what my hubby did on ours.
Neither of us had our dads there- his dad died 7 years ago of cancer, and mine isn’t in my life. We were both sad that they weren’t there, but I was given away by my grandad which was special in a different way.
I’m sorry you’re so sad, but its natural. Weddings are emotional in all sorts of ways.
Stay strong petal xxx
Thank you for all your sweet words ladies. I’m constantly amazed by how supportive and kind bloggers can be.
@Laura Yes, pregnancy is def very hard. Not only do you miss loved ones for the obvious reasons but bringing a new life into the world sure does make you think about life, death and your own mortality. The pain I feel loosing my Dad makes me cry for my children and the pain they’ll feel when they loose us… if that makes any sense. Hormones don’t help either.
@Lollipop Thank you lovely and I’m sorry to hear about your Grampa. I’m trying to focus on the fact that they will share the day with us, just ina slightly different way. Cancer Research offer the same service if you wanted to do something similar at your wedding.
@Louise I couldn’t agree more. I felt the same at my sister’s graduation last week. My Dad would be so chuffed to have a couple of graduates for daughters!
@Anonymous Girl If we ened up having speeches he’ll def get a mention. I may decide to speak at the point he should have but I’m a bit worry I’ll cry too much.
I’m thinking about who might give me away, possibly my Mum and sister, or my Stepdad or my Dad’s brother. They would all be special in different ways so I’m not sure yet.
You’re right about it all being very emotional, I can see that already. My Mum and future MIL seem to well up regularly when we talk about the big day!
xxx
Your last few posts have been making me all weepy! Promise I won’t stop reading your blog though! 🙂
My Dad had Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and died a few weeks ago. One of the hardest things for me at the moment is knowing that he won’t be there to walk me down the aisle and he won’t be there when (eventually) I have a little Baby Wedgie! I know exactly how you feel right now and you’re completely right…it’s not bloody fair and cancer does indeed suck BIG TIME!!
I’ve put my wedding plans on hold at the moment but one thing that I will definately be writing down in my big planning notebook is the idea about making a donation…I absolutely love it! And anyway…my Dad always hated those sugared almonds! He always said they were a waste of a good nut! 🙂
xxx
@Ms. Wedgie Awww hun, I didn’t mean to set you off! You’ll have me balling in a minute!
I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I won’t say that it get’s easier because I got sick of hearing that when my Dad passed (although, for the record, it does) but I will say that having a good cry whenever I needed to and talking about my Dad helped me a lot. Even now I will talk to complete strangers about him and Izzy probably knows more about her Grandpa then most children who see theirs every few weeks!
Facing the future without them is a bleak thought isn’t it? But I suppose carrying on and living a full life yourself is like giving cancer the finger, if you know what I mean! I know thinking of my Dad fills me with a renewed sense of determination whenever I’m feeling unsure of the path I’ve chosen in life.
Big hugs my lovely.
xxx