It’s been a funny few days. Exhausting, but wonderful. Full of family and friends, but also a little bit lonely. For various reasons, I didn’t reach for my camera once.
Without the usual pictorial accompaniment, I can’t really document the last two days in my usual fashion, so instead I’ve decided to note down a multitude of random tidbits and minutia from my mind. It might not make much sense, but maybe I’ll manage to craft a mildly interesting read for you. Maybe? Or not. Probably not. Sorry.
- We could be moving house within the next 4 weeks. My attitude to this fact ranges dramatically from overwhelming excitement to earth shattering fear, panic and sadness. I feel positively bipolar.
- I’m not sleeping well. At first I blamed the heat. Then I blamed the noises that drifted in through the open window that became essential as our bedroom began to feel like a furnace each evening. Then I realised I was lying in bed worrying. About packing the house up, finding school places for the children and changing our address everywhere. About money and work and change. About everything.
- I love the sound of rain hammering against my bedroom window.
- I miss blogging. For myself I mean. What happened to all that energy I used to have? Why can’t I manage more than one {rather poor quality} post a week? Will I ever find my way back to this little corner of the internet and do something worthwhile with it?
- I need to stop talking about not having enough time to write a novel and just write a novel.
- I haven’t read a book in over a month. This makes me sad.
- I spent all afternoon today uploading a trillion things to ebay. The sense of achievement experienced at the end of a huge listing spree is immense. {If you have little girls to clothe, or know someone that does, you might want to take a peek.}
- I’m really craving Thai food and pink wine.
- I’m turning 30 in less than a month. I’m not having a party because two of my favourite people are getting married on the day of my birth. I’ve bought a new dress, but I still need a hat and bag. Suggestions welcome.
- I am completely at ease with the prospect of entering the next decade of my life. In fact, I don’t really understand why people keep asking me if I’m OK with it while throwing pitying looks in my general direction. It’s just a number.
- If I only live as long as my father, I’ve got 20 years left. I’m going to try and remember it is a privilege to grow old.
- I have all these things I need to write before my birthday on the 17th and I’m scared I won’t manage it. None of it really matters, but I kind of want the last words of my twenties to be more profound than, say, this blog post is turning out to be.
- I watched Sleepless in Seattle for the first time in over a decade the other night. It was brilliant. It made me think about my Dad. He loved a good rom com.
- Jesse has needed to be put back into his bed approximately 3461 times while I’ve been writing this post. I’m blaming any typos on him.
Love Audrey xxx
I love catching up Franky, lovely post.
Damn, I was looking forward to dolling myself up for a birthday party. We might have to meet in London for a fabulous meal and celebrations instead 🙂
Have a lovely Sunday eve sweetheart, and as the great man said, don’t worry about a thing, cos everything little thing, gonna be alright xXx
Thank you lovely lady. We might swap celebrating my birthday for a house warming party instead!
xxx
It’s not wonder you cannot sleep Franky, don’t be hard on yourself! I’m really happy that you’re viewing turning 30 as a good thing- it is. I was happy to be leaving my immaturity and foolishness of my twenties behind- not that you have to worry about that! You’ve two beautiful children, your own home and a loving husband- huge achievements all in your twenties!
Be kind to yourself, you’re a talented lady with an incredibly pretty blue dress (I have serious envy) !!!
As ever I enjoyed your Sunday night post- even more than I’m reading it in sync back in the UK!
Xx
Thank you Andrea. How lovely that you’re in the UK for a little while. Enjoy your stay 🙂
xxx
Mmm I can only blame my careless iPhone typing for my typos!
Totally get all of the feelings you have at the moment- Chris and I are currently living with my parents and soon we will be moving into the flat we have bought in London and they will be moving to Lincoln. We will be leaving surrey completely and it is so scary- change is so hard! Exciting but hard.
It sounds like you are moving to a great place and a gorgeous house- hope it all goes smoothly and the move goes well! D x
It’s scary and very, very stressful, but hopefully all worth it in the end Daisy! Good luck with your move lovely.
xxx
I have always loved reading these posts Franky, a year ago I uncovered your blog and read all the archives (instead of typing part of my thesis- a welcomed change from procrastibaking!), really loving the way your write and how you document your life. Keep up the good work, and I think you do have a novel in you- apparently we all do!
Had to comment mainly because I, like you, watched Sleepless in Seattle as well! Usually cannot tolerate rom coms (unless they’re the fab old ones) but the Meg Ryan/ Tom Hanks arrangements suits me fine. You’ve Got Mail is probably one of my favourite films! Have a fab week- enjoy the weather! In Australia it is freezing (well, for Australian standards!)
I always enjoy reading your posts, they are always written in an interesting and engaging way, so I don’t see how you can say they are poor quality! I am sure there are many of us who ready your blog and feel exactly the same ; ).
Also, your birthday is near mine. I’m on the 15th. Wahay for being a Leo.
Xxx
Thank you Liz, that really means a lot. I think my problem is that I’m a perfectionist and just not finding the time to do all the things I want to with Love Audrey. I’m getting frustrated! I would love to go back to posting 3-4 times a week and I’d also love to create a monthly newsletter that could pop into people’s inbox each month. Just need to find a few more hours in the day!
And yay for Leos!
xxx
Such a thought-provoking post & always look forward to reading them.
Lots of exciting times afoot in August for you – take time for you and indulge in the things you love. Enjoy the hunt for your wedding accessories, start your novel when the time is right and ensure your new kitchen is filled with chilled pink wine and Thai treats.
Hannah x
I couldn’t read this post and not comment as I love your blog. In fact I really look forward to your weekly post about your weekend. The style of it is wonderful and really highlights the little things that make life special. And if you wanted to blog more often then I would very excited to read those posts too!
Hi Franky
This was a really thought provoking post. I want to ask you though, what would happen if you took something off your plate? What would you lose if you decided to only post once a week for a few months? What would you gain?
Your comments about your father ring true, and seizing the day is something I believe is key to living a full life, but I think it is important to say that you have time. When you reflect on your life you won’t think about the newsletter you didn’t write, but you might wish you had given yourself the mental space to appreciate the huge change that moving cities brings.
My totally unsolicited advice is to scale back, just a little, for the next couple of months, and let life get in the way! Taking a break when you need it may actually mean you come back with renewed passion for Love Audrey. You don’t have to have it all sorted yet.
You’re doing a great job.