Even Audrey looks worried…No! I’m not talking about the wedding! When it comes to marrying Mr. LA, I’ve never been more sure of anything.
I’m talking about my dress.
I tried it on at the weekend. It was the first time it had been out of the garment bag since we bought it way back in October last year and, to be frank, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I actually had a bit of a cry.
I can’t quite figure out if it’s the dress I don’t love or just me in it. My self-esteem is at a pretty low ebb at the moment and as I stared into the mirror all I could see was my awful skin, a bloated stomach and lumps in all the wrong places.
My dress is fairly unforgiving and rather clingy across my stomach, requiring a pretty killer figure (or, I suppose, Spanx) to carry it off. Although I know I’m skinny (I wasn’t thrilled with the protruding collar bones either), I have had 2 children and I am conscious of the fact that my tummy isn’t as concave as it once was. I’m acutely aware that this sounds ridiculous, but, I’m worried I’m going to feel like a frumpy, wobbly, mess.
And then there’s my skin. My face is the least of my worries. Why did I choose a v-neck dress with a low back when I’m prone to the odd break out on my chest and back? To be fair, this hasn’t been a problem in a really long time, but it is right now.
My Mum said ‘it won’t be like this by next year’.
‘But what if it is?’ I said.
Her suggestion that I could slap a bit on concealer on my chest didn’t go down well.
My Mum told me we could start all over again (although this was preceded by a curt ‘fine’ and spoken in a somewhat exasperated manner). For the first time in 6 months I’ve found myself looking at dresses again, on blogs, in shop windows and magazines. Every now and then I catch myself thinking that the dress I’ve chosen wasn’t what I had in mind at all, I want to look slinky and vintage and glamorous. Like I’ve just walked off a film set in 1930s Hollywood.
But is this real or is this all because I’m having a tough time imagining myself looking anything other than hideous on my wedding day?
Did you have second thoughts about your wedding dress? What did you, or would you do in my situation? Do I just need to invest in a pair of Bridget Jones pants and stop moaning?
Loveaudrey xxx
Aw hon, unfortunately I have no experience of bridal dress shopping… I’m still waiting for the lion to make an honest woman of me!
But I do know that you’ll look gorgeous no matter what dress that you’re wearing. Maybe try it on again in a few days and see how you feel?
Big hugs.
T
First of all, I had a million wobbles in my dress and I would advise NEVER trying it on without a full face of makeup, hair styled and jewellery in place. NEVER EVER.
To be honest with you, I now look back at my dress and wish I’d chosen slightly differently. I should have had straps and a lace shrug to cover the tops of my arms, or something with short sleeves. If you are having serious doubts about how well your dress fits and suits your body shape I think its okay to look around and keep an open mind.
BUT, don’t make any of those decisions without some slap on. x
I’m sure you just tried it on on a bad day and we all get them. I bet you actually look lovely in it.
I’m not married or getting married, but I think I would struggle with the concept of choosing just one dress from so many and I think I would have a wobble and want to change my mind. I need about 5 wedding dresses to suit my multiple personalities.
Have you a close friend who can give you an honest opinion? And as Lisa states above, you need make up etc to get the full effect.
Anyway I hope you come to a descision and one you feel happy and comfortable with.
xx
Hey lovely,
I’m also sure it was just a bad day. I know that feeling when you’re trying on something (which might even be absolutely beautiful!) but feeling ugly in it.
I do agree with the advice that trying your wedding dress after a stressful and tiring day with no slap on might be a bad idea. My dress was also quite clingy across the stomach and being skinny like you, I felt ridiculous that it had to be taken in in the bust and let out in the stomach.
My advice would be to try again on a day when you do feel better and trying to imagine a bigger picture. I’m also prone to some breakouts on the chest and back area, but with the veil on, even I couldn’t see anything. Also, when you stand straight with your chin up, the tummy just seems to disappear.
Hope that helps! x
I thought you looked absolutely stunning in your dress when you posted the pic. Very retro! But if you don’t feel comfortable in it there’s no harm looking around. You could always wear it for the night do?
By the way, love your blog redesign. xxx
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Personally, I see nothing wrong with wearing control undergarments, especially when it’s possible to buy beautiful ones. As for your skin, perhaps it’s worth seeing a dermatologist for advice. A lot of women experience adult acne.
Very best wishes,
Simone
i completely understand how you feel. I had those worries too. Exfoliate, exfoliate nearer to the big day!!!. I remember my skin looked quite good, but then as the evening wore on a huge spot started to appear!! thank god for make up!!!! and dim lights. It didn’t worry me at the time though, i was so caught up in the day xx
What time of the month was it? If you’re trying it on in the week before your period is due, step away from the garment bag. Nothing feels good then.
I also totally agree with Lila Loves – wedding dresses look totally different with full make-up and hair done. Try it on again in a week or two and reassess. x
I recently had MAJOR dress wobbles! As soon as I bought my dress I was worrying about it instead of feeling excited. There are just SO many different styles and fabrics to choose from and I was worried I hadn’t picked the right one and I thought I hadn’t tried enough dresses on. And I thought my hips looked huge in the dress.
What I did was post my worries on to a wedding forum and I cannot tell you how the girls replies on there made me feel so much better! For me, getting someone’s opinion other than my mum’s really reassured me. Now I’m happy with my dress, phew!
You looked absolutely gorgeous when you posted the picture of the dress! I thought it was extremely slinky and flattering and your figure looked banging. Ignore the mirror when you are having an ‘off day’. But if you want to shop around for a different dress, don’t feel guilty about that either because you are only doing this day once! I agree with the above poster, try it on again in a week or two when you’re feeling good about yourself, pair it with your favourite red chanel lipstick and I’m sure you’ll fall in love with it again 🙂 xxx
Looking at other dresses is pretty disastrous. You’re bound to see something else now and wonder… is that THE ONE? Eek.
Honestly, you’re probably having a bad mirror day, due to hormones or whatever (such fun being a woman). You’ll feel so much different if you try it on even a week from now. However is the damage irrepairable….have you set the seed of doubt in motion… have you whet your appetite for another frock… *cue the Eastenders drums*
Thank you so much ladies. You’re all right of course, trying it on in a poorly lit room, with the wrong underwear, 3 days before my period was a BIG mistake. HUGE.
I’m not going to put it on again until my skin has cleared up (which it will *positive thinking*) and I’ve got myself some fancy pants!
@LionLovingTiger Tell the lion to hurry up! I’m always looking for fellow wedding planners to keep me company on this crazy journey into the unknown…
@LilaLoves Thank you, I will def take your advice, from now I won’t go near my frock without my lippy!
@ParfaitAmour You’re so right, the concept of finding the one ‘perfect’ dress is very scary!
xxx
@LaurenLoves Thank you honey, I hope you’re right :S
Glad you like the new layout! I wanted something a little more grown-up!
@Simone Thank you for your comment. We don’t really have access to derms in the UK but I will think about visiting my GP if things haven’t improved in a months time. I’ve struggled with acne for years (my teenage acne never went away, just developed into adult acne, worst luck) and I’ve kind of resigned myself to the fact that it will always be there, or at least the potential for it. My skin has been really clear for a couple of years and it’s just flaring up now, on my body more than my face for some reason.
xxx
@LissyLou I am exfoliating, LOTS! Nothing is shifting it at the moment and it’s really, really getting me down. It will be gone by next Jan though *crosses fingers*
@GraceLondon You’re right, what was I thinking. Honestly, you always leave the most constructive, supportive comments on my moaniest (is that even a word) blog posts. Thank you so much.
@AmyAntoinette Oh, I’m so glad I’m not the only bride with wedding dress wobbles!!
@SophieRosalind YES, I will def try it on with my Chanel lippy next time!! Thank you for your kind comment, as always <3
@arlene Oh your comment made me laugh out loud!! I guess you’ll have to tune in next week to find out what happens in the soap opera that is my life!!
xxx
I think most brides have a wobble with the dress- after all, it is a huge decision. The ToM and bad lighting, no makeup will not help matters. Why not try to get some glam control pants: what katie did have control underwear on their uk site which would make you feel like the Hollywood goddess on your special day.
Also try not to over exfoliate the skin. When you strip it of the natural oils it’ll produce it in bucketloads to make up for the extreme loss. Have you tried olive oil cleansing? Sounds odd but it does work. Shu Uemura’s cleansing oils are amazing too.
It may also be worth checking out a new shampoo and conditioner- when I had long hair I found that it was the chemical nasties in my hair products that were the cause of the spots on my shoulders and back.
HTH,
L
x
@L I’ve been looking at the WKD site, I just need to pick a pair!! Interesting about the haircare, the thought had crossed my mind as I started getting the odd pimple as soon as I switched to the Redken range, and I’ve had spots behind my ears which I’ve never had in my life!! I think I’ll switch back to Kerastase. I’ve used oil cleansing in the past and it’s worked well (although the shu oil broke me out). Thanks for the advice lovely!
xxx
I don’t really think I can add anything constructive or helpful, the above comments have all been wonderfully supportive and echo my sentiments exactly!
Thinking back to when you posted your picture, I loved the dress, loved you in the dress, and loved the way you talked about the dress – it seemed clear to me then that you had found your ‘one’! I think the above points about no make up/time of the month/wrong mood/lighting etc all contribute hugely! I can only compare this to getting ready to go out of an evening or something – if I’m in the wrong frame of mind or having a ‘bad mirror day’ as Arlene says, it’s just bound to end in tears!
You’re beautiful, and I’m 100% sure the dress will be too – whether you stick with your original or chose another.
Are you on the Pill (personal question, sorry)? I went through various different pills that had various different side effects, one of which was acne, so that could be something? xxx
@Laura Oh, you’re so right. I’m going to amke sure I try it on ‘properly’ next time
I’m not on the pill. My skin’s default setting is acne-prone and I’ve used the pill in the past to STOP the acne, to great effect. I’ve been on Dianette and Yasmin and they worked really well, but I had other nasty side-effects (migraines and nausea mostly) which put me off. I’ve had oral and topical antibiotic in the past too and they’ve worked so I know that if this doesn’t go on of its own accord then I have other options. It’s really getting me down though, my skins been clear for ages which makes it worse.
xxx